I am getting very anxious today for some reason. Earlier today I was looking at Nate's name and knowing that someday I am going to share it. Oh, the longings of an engaged woman! There are too many to count. Sometimes I have this thinking that once we get married, then I will be happier. I know that lie, I have thought it a thousand times with a thousand different things. For example: If I could just be skinny, then I would be happy. Or, how about this one... If I could just have a boyfriend, then I would be happy.
Well, I have more then a boyfriend, I have a fiancee, and I am still not content!!!! What is a girl to do? OK, I guess I just needed to vent. A real update of how everything is coming along for the wedding will be coming soon.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Engagement
11/15/07
Someday soon, I will be Elisabeth Diane Benjamin. Wow! That's so cool. We are 7 months away and I am getting anxious at times. I keep thinking about how fast time will go, but the relief only lasts for a second and then it's back to being impatient again. I have been really trying to learn everything I can about the way men work because I now realize how difficult it is to get along with one :) If you love a man and want to be the "best" for him, then you will run into some problems. It seems like I fail at being a "good" woman a lot. But books like "Love and Respect", and "Wild at heart", are helping me dive into the male psyche so I can better understand the man I am going to marry. Getting married still feels like a dream or another world away to me. I don't think it's hit me yet. Everytime I look at my wedding dress it hits me though :) I can't wait to wear it. I can't wait to be princess for a day and be "the most beautiful woman" he has ever seen. I want his heart to fill with love and awe for me. I guess that's a longing in my heart; to be the object of desire, for someone to be in awe of me- to be captivated. Isn't that the heart of God too though? He longs for us to desire Him and be in awe of Him. I believe that :) Thanks Lord for giving me your tender heart. I love you.
11/15/07
Engagement... ahhhh, engagement. Here is my take on engagement. You know that phrase from some movie or play where they say, "they
were the best of times, they were the worst of times"? Ok, so that's what engagement is. If you break down the word "engagement" it is this: en- in, into; gage-pledge. You are entering into a contract, or a pledge if you will, with another person. Now, if you look this word up in the dictionary this is what you will find:
en·gage [en-geyj] verb, -gaged, -gag·ing.
–verb (used with object)
2. to secure for aid, employment, use, etc.; hire: to engage a worker; to engage a room.
3. to attract and hold fast: The novel engaged her attention and interest.
4. to attract or please: His good nature engages everyone.
5. to bind, as by pledge, promise, contract, or oath; make liable: He engaged himself to repay his debt within a month.
6. to betroth (usually used in the passive): They were engaged last week.
7. to bring (troops) into conflict; enter into conflict with: Our army engaged the enemy.
8. Mechanics. to cause (gears or the like) to become interlocked; interlock with.
9. to attach or secure.
10. Obsolete. to entangle or involve.
–verb (used without object)
11. to occupy oneself; become involved: to engage in business or politics.
12. to take employment: She engaged in her mother's business.
13. to pledge one's word; assume an obligation: I was unwilling to engage on such terms.
14. to cross weapons; enter into conflict: The armies engaged early in the morning.
15. Mechanics. (of gears or the like) to interlock.
Ok, there are some cool things about the word "engage" and how it really shows the true meaning of "engagement". But did you see the part that said " to cross weapons; enter into conflict"? Ya, that's a big part that stands out to me. Sometimes it feels like war. But not just with eachother, but with the enemy of our souls and our flesh. I remember people telling Nate and I that things would get "different" during engagement. They did. It's another level. It's a cool level, but your in limbo now. You are half way between dating and marriage.But really, you enter a battle. You "engage" in war, with eachother, and with yourself. But I wouldn't trade it for anything- maybe except for marriage :)Here is a movie I made of my engagement:
Someday soon, I will be Elisabeth Diane Benjamin. Wow! That's so cool. We are 7 months away and I am getting anxious at times. I keep thinking about how fast time will go, but the relief only lasts for a second and then it's back to being impatient again. I have been really trying to learn everything I can about the way men work because I now realize how difficult it is to get along with one :) If you love a man and want to be the "best" for him, then you will run into some problems. It seems like I fail at being a "good" woman a lot. But books like "Love and Respect", and "Wild at heart", are helping me dive into the male psyche so I can better understand the man I am going to marry. Getting married still feels like a dream or another world away to me. I don't think it's hit me yet. Everytime I look at my wedding dress it hits me though :) I can't wait to wear it. I can't wait to be princess for a day and be "the most beautiful woman" he has ever seen. I want his heart to fill with love and awe for me. I guess that's a longing in my heart; to be the object of desire, for someone to be in awe of me- to be captivated. Isn't that the heart of God too though? He longs for us to desire Him and be in awe of Him. I believe that :) Thanks Lord for giving me your tender heart. I love you.
11/15/07
Engagement... ahhhh, engagement. Here is my take on engagement. You know that phrase from some movie or play where they say, "they
were the best of times, they were the worst of times"? Ok, so that's what engagement is. If you break down the word "engagement" it is this: en- in, into; gage-pledge. You are entering into a contract, or a pledge if you will, with another person. Now, if you look this word up in the dictionary this is what you will find:en·gage [en-geyj] verb, -gaged, -gag·ing.
–verb (used with object)
2. to secure for aid, employment, use, etc.; hire: to engage a worker; to engage a room.
3. to attract and hold fast: The novel engaged her attention and interest.
4. to attract or please: His good nature engages everyone.
5. to bind, as by pledge, promise, contract, or oath; make liable: He engaged himself to repay his debt within a month.
6. to betroth (usually used in the passive): They were engaged last week.
7. to bring (troops) into conflict; enter into conflict with: Our army engaged the enemy.
8. Mechanics. to cause (gears or the like) to become interlocked; interlock with.
9. to attach or secure.
10. Obsolete. to entangle or involve.
–verb (used without object)
11. to occupy oneself; become involved: to engage in business or politics.
12. to take employment: She engaged in her mother's business.
13. to pledge one's word; assume an obligation: I was unwilling to engage on such terms.
14. to cross weapons; enter into conflict: The armies engaged early in the morning.
15. Mechanics. (of gears or the like) to interlock.
Ok, there are some cool things about the word "engage" and how it really shows the true meaning of "engagement". But did you see the part that said " to cross weapons; enter into conflict"? Ya, that's a big part that stands out to me. Sometimes it feels like war. But not just with eachother, but with the enemy of our souls and our flesh. I remember people telling Nate and I that things would get "different" during engagement. They did. It's another level. It's a cool level, but your in limbo now. You are half way between dating and marriage.But really, you enter a battle. You "engage" in war, with eachother, and with yourself. But I wouldn't trade it for anything- maybe except for marriage :)Here is a movie I made of my engagement:
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